City Crush

How do you feel about the thought of meeting a long lost love, lost for last ten years? You have been absolutely out of touch but the memories seem fresh as ever. There is anxiety, nervousness, realisation that things are definitely not the same and you dont want to face this newness. Its more pleasurable in your memories than perhaps in reality and you dont want to replace the old ones with new facts. This is how I feel about going back Pune. 1998 was year I first landed in Pune and tasted first real freedom after growing up in an unsafe, hence protected environment of UP and Delhi. It was the two of us, me and my kinetic who took numerous journeys floating around every nook and corner of the city and outskirts with our friends (mine and kinetic's). We loved the city and wanted to live there forever but God had some other plans. So I left the city in 2000 and never returned back. Its like a bagful of memories buried somewhere, a time which will not come back again but a city which still stands as it is (hopefully).

That was still easy to describe but to put in words how I feel about New York City is pure torture. Its too heavy on emotions, energy, vocab and thoughts so wont dwell much here. Its like a fresh break-up. You go through the various stages of denial, outburst, depression, realisation, acceptance. And its like a ticking time bomb, you never know when it might suddenly erupt again. NYC is an easy topic to discuss with lot of people in most parts of the world. They all have something to say about what thier short trip was like or how they feel so charmed by the energy and spirit of New York... yeah dudes tell me about it!

And now my latest crush ... Mumbai ofcourse. Its the freshness of falling in 'first love' for the nth time. Its the honey moon period where even being away for a week seems difficult. You love all aspects of it good or bad....or rather everything seems to be just perfect. You feel like you have found your soulmate and wonder why it took so long to reach here.You feel like you always belonged here and this is what you were searching for all along.The usual kind of feelings you have in a new love and you also realise that this euphoria may or may not last forever.This may be 'IT' finally or just another stopever in the journey of life.

Coming back to Lucknow is always the most pleasurable of all. Its like coming back to your mother's lap and you know that the city is forever waiting for you with its arms stretched. Like a wall post reads near the airport everytime I go out - 'Lucknow ko aapka intezaar rahega'. The streets where you grow up as a kid where you started riding a bicycle, moved on to moped, scooter, car.You find old houses of old friends in all corners of the city standing as it is. From your neighbours to family doc to doodhwala to parlour lady to kiraney ki dukaan, everyone is happily welcoming and knows that you were to arrive today. Its back to a life of luxury and laxiness and I feel no less than a princess.

Delhi is almost home. Its the next door neighbour who has a bigger balcony.It always feels close and mine. Its majestic, spread out and has an old charm, though still largely unexplored. Another city which feels close to my heart is London. Probably I have spent long vacations there at my brother's home so the thought of it is homely and warm though the city itself is damp and cold. But deifinitely a place I would like to go back for short vacations anytime.

Though I feel at peace right now vacationing in Lucknow, working in Mumbai and dreaming about New York. But one can never be sure whether this lull means that all old memories have been wiped off, forgotten or buried with the possibility of being unearthed or is it that these memories have just merged into the present, into me and a combination of all these small big baggages makes me the person I am.